* New! 非常害怕在公開場合說話
Start to Have Strength to Speak
My life seems to be a pretty good life to others. When I was in school, although not my first choice, they were still secondary schools. After graduation, I was fortunate to come to an institution similar to a public service unit, and I also have a long-term emotional stability partner. But there is always a problem in my heart, which is that I am very afraid of speaking in public. When I was a student, I was most afraid of being named by the teacher to answer the question, as soon as I stood up, what I had known would disappear in my head. So, when I was looking for a job, I only chose those jobs didn't need to speak publicly, like an administrative document. I thought it would be peaceful. A few years ago, my seniority in the work unit reached a certain level, before that, my supervisor always wanted to promote me, however, I always refused because I knew that I was afraid to speak publicly. But last year, because of some organizational changes, the supervisor said, if not promoting you, would we promote one of the new members to be the project leader?
So, I became a small supervisor in a small unit. In fact, I could do everything. Although the group would have meetings, although I was nervous, but because there were not many people, and we were familiar, and I could stay calm, but the weekly supervisor meeting was a stress to me, and sometimes even because of business, when my supervisor asked me to participate in the report with our boss, I became a frozen person. Although I still spoke, I regret after I stepped down. Why didn't I say this or that? Then I am very guilty. When being asked questions from the boss or the managers, I didn’t even know what I was talking about. Every time after the meeting, my supervisor always looks serious. I feel sorry. One day, my supervisor may be really bothered by my such a situation, she gave me a website, that is Orlando Subconscious, he didn't say much, I just took a look and didn't take it too seriously. Until a few months ago, my worries seemed to get worse. Insomnia at night, I will bruise my teeth after falling asleep. The dentist said what to do if I continued to bite the board, I would destroy my teeth. At the same time, I felt my work efficiency was getting lower and lower, and the mood was getting worse. At that time, I think of Orlando Subconscious website again. I thought it may be time to face it.
When I met Teacher Duan, I didn't know what to say. It was actually very nervous to face a stranger, but Teacher Duan asked me some questions kindly, and gradually it seemed as if a map of my life was drawn. It took four hours for the first time, but Teacher Duan was very patient. I was thinking about why it could take to talk for four hours about my ordinary life, but Teacher Duan told me that she saw some of my characteristics and patterns. After her explanation, I also had a kind of sudden realization. The next was doing subconscious treatment, at the beginning, I was too nervous, so it was a bit difficult to enter the subconscious state. Teacher Duan did not give me up and comforted me. I just wanted to trust Teacher Duan. As a result of childhood explorations, I realized that I thought that I had a carefree childhood, however, in fact, there were so many small grievances and fears, these turned out to be the root causes of my later fear of speaking in public. After I dealt with this time, I seemed to become more cheerful. Later, I dealt with it twice, and gradually came to the issue of speaking. Then I realized that the original pattern of my grievances and fears had been deeply rooted in my subconscious, and then in the crowd, this pattern was manifested in the matter of speaking. At first, I thought I was only afraid of speaking in public, but when I regressed and explored subconsciously, I saw from the experience that I was in fact, even in private, I was very defensive against people, because I was afraid that I would feel hurt again. With the guidance and subconscious healing of Teacher Duan, I gradually found the strength within my heart. Now, I start to feel that speaking to people become easier and more comfortable. At the general meeting at the end of the last year, my mood was peaceful, before the meeting, I practiced the method that the teacher taught me in the subconscious process, then I felt that I had the power to express myself, and I could speak more about the business content that I had organized and familiar with before.
I never really thought about the grievances which happened in my childhood could still affect me. Maybe as Teacher Duan said, sometimes if the trauma repeatedly accumulated for a long time, then they won't disappear with time, so that sentence “Time will heal everything”, I think it should be incorrect, or we should really face it and solve it. I was thinking that if I could meet the subconscious method earlier, my life should be able to take less wrongdoing, but it doesn't matter, I am still very grateful, at least now I have changed. Teacher Duan, thank you.
段老師的話 (Teacher Duan's Words)
Lily said that her childhood was carefree in his cognition, and she did not expect that there were negative factors that affected his ability to speak. Many people may think that they must have experienced some major trauma before, it will have an impact. In fact, in my actual client dealing experiences, the importance is not whether the trauma is huge or not, even if it is a seemingly minor stimulus, but if it appears in life frequently or repeatedly, like the power of dripping through the stones, it may become a pattern. For example, if a group of children play together every day, but this child always loses, even if it is just for fun, after over and over again, it will start to become a kind of self-cognition --- I'm terrible, I'm useless. Such self-cognition will also make this person lack of self-confidence or even escape from various new things. Because in the childhood, Lily's cousin ??of the same age was excellent, even if the parents had not compared or accused her, but they often got to know her cousin ??perform well. Her cousin was good at speech and performance. When the family got together, Lily began to become defensive and withdrawn. Nearby, they got along frequently, and her cousin ??of the same age often studied in the same class or attend the same school, so that such a contrast and inferiority had gradually formed
a kind of inner pattern. Although in her memory, they played together, feeling good and happy, this inferiority trauma still also existed in her life without contradiction.
Of course, in some cases, even if the mind clearly knows the ins and outs of the above, but is still deeply troubled, it really depends on fine exploration in the subconscious and the corresponding healing, so that the inner self-confidence and strength could grow, then get rid of that comparison pattern and really go on one's own life path freely.