My Long-Term Predicament Is Related to My Father
To ask for the Teacher Duan’s assistance for reading Akashic record was to resolve another problem that has been bothering me for a long time... I have worked in the field of law which I majored in for several years after graduating from college, but after changing a fe jobs, I found that I still feel uncomfortable and dissatisfied. I really couldn’t understand myself that at the beginning I chose to study law with firm passion and responsibility, “why do I always feel that there is invisible pressure on my shoulders when I study and work now?” I was very confused about myself...
I asked the Teacher, "Should I continue to walk on the path of law, or should I change the runway?" The answer the Teacher gave me was not to choose one from the above, but “to solve the problem with your father, you would naturally know where you want to go.”
I was confused, I didn't understand what was the relationship between my way and my father? "Justice," the Teacher said that she saw the word. I tried to guess: "Is it because that I want to have the power of law to fight against my father to win the justice? (Because in my growth process, I always felt that I was advancing step by step with the goal of protecting my mother and myself, so I needed to fight against my father who was not responsible for his family.)"
But the Teacher shook her head.
I was shocked and said: "No? And?"
The Teacher went on saying, "Did you think your father is very wretched?"
I was too shocked to say anything as if I was struck by lightning, then I stuttered and said, "Yes...Yes..."
The Teacher added: "You chose to study law was to help your father achieve justice. You wanted to get the justice that your father was deprived for him."
I was stunned for a long while again, this possibility has never appeared in my conscious mind. Because during my growth process, I had always thought that I should not like my father, I should fight against my father for my mother. Although the answer the Teacher gave me wasn’t what I had thought, but when I heard what the Teacher said, I heard the voice of my heart and knew it is exactly the right answer. The fact was that I always thought that my father was a poor man who was trapped in his own depression in half of his lifetime. In fact, I didn’t hate my father, I just didn’t know how to love him... I hoped that I could help him get back his power... But the Teacher further cracked my myths----“You are not your father. It is impossible to help him get his own justice. All you can do is to accompany him and bless him to get his justice.” At that moment, I understood that everyone has his own learning journey, even the dearest family, I still can't complete their lives for them.
What amazed me a lot was that shortly after doing the Akashic record reading, one day I accidentally found my change! I felt that there was no more that kind of pressures which were on my shoulders when I read law, the pressure of the past was gone. I was able to begin enjoying the work of law, cherish every opportunity to learn, and be happy to plan my own study outside of work, rather than being as powerless as I was forced to do things. This result really surprised me. I discovered then that it was because I subconsciously gave myself the responsibility of helping my father to achieve justice, I didn’t think I was living my own life, so I was not happy anyway. But now I have let go of that responsibility which shouldn’t belong to me. I still love my father, but I know that everyone’s path has to be walked by himself. I also began to learn taking responsibility for myself and go my own way. I purely do my best in every moment, and then I really know which way I want to go. This feeling of relaxed freedom is really unprecedented. I felt myself freely flying like a bird in the sky. Incredibly, I know the taste of living for myself for the first time. I put down the heavy burden from the guilty of thinking "if I don't do……, my parents will……", I began to move forward easily.
I really appreciate the Teacher for helping me find the crux of my problems which I has been trapped for many years. When I look back, I realize that my father never wanted me to live his life for him. He always wanted me to go my own way. I made myself trapped in the obsession of “reluctant to leave him”, so I felt that I was carrying his life, my success was his success, my failure was his failure, so there was really heavy pressure..., now I learn that loving someone is not to live his life for him, but bless him and accompany him through the difficult moments of his life. Moreover, only when I can stand independently and live my life, can I have the power to support others.
After the Teacher read my Akashic record for me, I reflected on my own state for a long time. Because of the lack of love from childhood, I didn’t know how to love my poor father. Then I recalled that when I just began to learn the subconsciousness course from the Teacher a few years ago, the Teacher once said that I had not been independent from my original family. At that time, I didn’t understand what it meant, but now I realize that I was so eager to get the love of my parents so that I lived my father’s life for him to feel the love of being with him. Before this, I always felt that I was making every effort to escape from the confinement of my original family. I didn't expect that I just ran away from my original family physically; in fact, my mind pattern had never left. I have never thought that my "thirst for love" has existed for many years in such a disguised form, and because I couldn't recognize the form of my thirst for love, and of course I couldn't change it. Thank the Teacher very much for leading me to see the truth and have the opportunity to rewrite my own mind pattern.
After waking up, I made up my mind to be brave to take my own path. After I took responsibility for myself, my work was still busy, but my mind was pleasant, and I knew how the following road I want to go.
For my father, because I no longer carry his life, I have no complaints about him. (It turns out that my resentment towards my father was not because that he was ruining his own life and family, but was angry that he increased the burden of mine which made me be in great pain, but actually it was just my wishful thinking that I wanted to help him pick up his life, and then I was angry with him because I couldn’t carry his life. He was really innocent...), I started to be able to realize his dilemma objectively and then naturally paid respect to him. After the reading of Akashic record, one time when I chatted with him, I saw the shy and warm smile on his dark face, suddenly I felt I finally could love him, how wonderful!
段老師的話 (Teacher Duan’s Words)
The outcome of reading the Akashic record is actually similar with exploring the subconscious, but the path of two of them is different. As I mentioned in the theory analysis articles of “What” in the website, the subconscious treatment is that I lead the clients into their subconscious, their personal experiences will make their comprehension and healing gain more comprehensive and in-depth, after returning to their lives after treatment, and the change will be very obvious. The convenience of Akashic record reading is that it is not affected by whether the client has internal resistance. I am allowed to enter his Akashic record field (as his body, mind and spirit cloud hard-disk) under the authorization of the client, I can saw the root of his problem, then we could find it faster. Tiza had done subconscious treatment in the past, and also studied subconscious courses from me for several years, therefore, when I read her Akashic record, after I explained it, she could also enter her subconscious to understand her own problems immediately, the effect was more.
To be an Akashic record reader, in fact, in the field of recording, I am often shocked and moved by the answers in the record. Indeed, for many years, when I was doing subconsciously treatments for clients, I often "sensed" automatically some information of the client, it really helped me to guide the client to explore the source of the problem and solve it, but I usually self-control, even intentionally avoid to receive some information, on the one hand, I feel that I should not know others’ stuff (it’s my moral principal), unless it can really help the client; On the other hand, as walking on the road, although there are so many kinds of things around, there is no need to see everything. If the information still inadvertently rushes into my mind, I will also see if the situation is appropriate and then decide whether to tell that person.
Therefore, in Tiza’s Akashic record at that moment, I just realized that she wanted to act well for her wretched father, so she gave herself a heavy burden, and she thought she had to enter good school or got some licenses. The reason, like a small plastic chip in the beach, buried deep in her subconsciousness, affected her for so long and made her studied so hard and life so heavy. In fact, the love of the universe has always existed in our hearts and around us, just waiting for us to be in a difficult situation in life, and finally willing to stop and ask ourselves what happened. This unconditional love will flow out with wisdom and illuminate our inner dark, this is just the learning journey of life. It’s my pleasure to accompany Tiza to understand and see her growth and development over these years. I really feel very Happy.