No Longer Need the High Wall in Emotional Relationships
Recognize the High Walls that Hinder Me from Entering the Relationship Although I was so eager for the warmth of relationship, I felt that I was not good enough to be loved, so I can’t express myself to others, of course I was not likely to get any responses from the ones who I liked. Therefore, I was often in the dilemma of not knowing how to advance and retreat, so for solving this problem, I asked the Teacher to do the Akashic record interpretation for me... However, I did not expect that after my question of how to get a relationship, the first sentence of the Teacher was: "Do you trust people?" I was a bit hesitant about why came this question but still answer it honestly: "Not trust." The Teacher: "Trust is an important quality of love. Only you have trust can you love. If you can't trust, you can't love..." Honestly, I really couldn't trust people... "Teacher, and how can I practice trusting others?" The Teacher said, "Trust your parents... (omitted) What the Teacher said completely matched the problems between my parents and I. I had so much fear in the intimate relationship that I couldn’t trust, but without trust, how could I get into the intimate relationship? Although I long for the warmth that the intimate relationship may bring, I was even more afraid of the harm that trust will bring. I never thought that it turned out that I built the high walls that hindered me from entering the intimate relationship... After knowing what happened, I believe that if I can heal myself from the problem of distrust, the relation problems will naturally be solved. Although I have not healed yet, but I have recognized what my real problems were. I will do it according to the method taught by the Teacher. I believe it will change!
我又請問老師，我跟母親之間的課題是甚麼呢？ 老師說：「慈愛」。 我：「？」 老師：「接受你母親慈愛你的方式，而不是批判她的行為是不慈愛的表現。」 我：「啊…懂了…」我以前一直固執地想要改變母親，希望她能夠以我覺得好的方式對我，而不是一直以她自己覺得好的方式對我，但後來我發現，我對母親的批判，其實源於我對自己人生的無力感…因為我對於自己很沒有自信，不相信自己能好好走自己想走的路，總想要依賴誰的力量，但也有著自己人生課題的母親也沒辦法懂我、讓我依賴，所以我將自己的無助怒氣發洩了在母親的身上…
See the Love of My Mother for Me Then I asked the Teacher: What is the topic between my mother and me? The Teacher said, "Love." Me: "I don’t know what it means." Teacher: "Accepting the way your mother loves you, not criticizing her behaviors are manifestation of unloving." Me: "Ah... I understand..." I used to stubbornly want to change my mother. I hoped she could treat me in the way I felt good, not always in the way that she felt good, but finally I found out the truth was that my criticisms of my mother were actually due to my lack of confidence in my life...I had no confidence in myself and didn’t believe that I could go my own way, so I always pinned my hopes for a better life on somebody’s strength; however, my mother who also had her own life issues couldn’t understand me and let me rely on, so I vented my helpless anger on my mother...
做完阿卡西紀錄解讀後，現在恍然大悟，原來我是這麼渴望能得到父母親的愛，因為渴望母親能給我我需要的愛（但她無法給我，所以我總是批判她、對她生氣）。 After reading Akashic record , I reflected on my own state for a long time. Now I realize that I was so eager to get the love of my parents and craved my mother’s love which she couldn’t give to me (so I always criticized her and was mad at her).
When being with my mother, when my arrogance and the mind of wanting to criticize her were going to rise, I would remember to remind myself to take a step back in the mind and objectively look at my mother’s behaviors and truly felt that she had been doing her best to give me her love, and then my criticism disappeared, maybe our thoughts were very different, but I could feel her true concern for me. I was very grateful to her and pay my sincere care to her. I could feel her happiness afterwards, and miraculously, I felt that she is more supportive of my thoughts and decision than before. I think maybe it is because that I also learned to respect her, so she doesn’t need to defend her own for feeling been criticized by me.
After the Akashic record consultation, there have been many miraculous changes in my life. I really appreciate for the Teacher’s willingness to help us in such a way. I also realized that “something that stays in your mind will someday spring up in your life”. Maybe there are some ordeals that we feel can never be overcome, but as long as we don’t give up hope and goals, after the dormant period of life, the angels will be assigned by the universe to help us at the right time. Thank the Teacher for being our angel who illuminates the darkness of our lives and bring us hope and strength from brightness.
段老師的話 (Teacher Duan’s Words)
When we want to love but don't dare to love, when we want to be loved but feel that we are not loved, if so, sometimes we can stop to look at our own heart, whether it is because we are afraid to love, in case the other party reacts coldly to make ourselves feel hurt, then we set a high wall, don’t dare to love or accept the love that the other party already gives to us. Of course, sometimes, it is not easy to be aware whether we have set a high wall fence. Therefore, through entering the subconsciousness and exploring, and even Akashic record reading, can really help us discover the truth of our heart and realize that our own fear creates some awareness which is not true.
Like W, through Akashic record reading, she saw her hard in the emotional relationship, mainly because of the lack of trust. The trust often comes from the parent-child relationship of childhood in the original family, if people in the childhood parent-child relationship, trust is not established, and indeed in the subsequent emotional relationship of the partner, they could tend to worry or fear the relationship. Of course, through the subconscious treatment, the inner wound can be healed, so there will be enough power to meet and create the emotional relationship of life.
Here I am also grateful to W, thank you for letting me read your Akashic record for you, and giving me the opportunity to witness the love of Universe again.