服從的孩子，成年後的焦慮
Obedient Children, Anxiety In Adulthood

當我們還是孩子的時候，為了得到父母的照顧與愛，本能地我們學會了察言觀色，做出符合父母期待的行為。我們害怕惹父母生氣或失望，盡力地達到他們的標準，不論那件事情我們是否喜歡或有困難。
When we were children, for getting the care and love of our parents, we instinctively learned to observe what they like, and behave to meet their expectations. We were afraid of making our parents angry or disappointed, so we did our best to meet their standard, whether we liked it or not or whether it was hard or not.

這是個社會化的學習過程，大部分人在這個過程裡養成了服從甚至是討好的模式，在孩童時代，這樣的行為通常是被讚許的，所謂乖巧懂事。
This is a social learning process, in which most people develop a pattern of obedience and even flattery. In childhood, such behavior is usually praised, so-called well-behaved and sensible.

然而，到了成年，這樣的個體，往往在面對人生的諸多選擇時有很多恐懼，其潛意識是害怕沒有符合父母家族、朋友同儕，乃至社會的認同，或說是害怕走出自己熟悉的模式。
However, in adulthood, such individuals often have a lot of fears when facing many choices in life. In their subconsciousness, they are afraid that they will not get affirmed from their parents, family, friends, peers and even the society, or they fear stepping out of their familiar patterns.

當內心有自己的需求，感到可能不會被他人認可的時候，內在常出現很多不安、矛盾與焦慮。在諮詢室遇到這樣的個案時，我會鼓勵他們，「這是一次珍貴的成長機會，成長本來就不是複製，而是探索與創造。」
When they have their own needs which may not be approval by others, they often have a lot of anxiety, contradictions, and anxiety inside. When such cases come to me, I will encourage them, “This is a precious opportunity of growth. Growth is not a copy, but exploring and creation."